The End of That

I guess this has turned into a once-a-month type of blog seeing how it's pretty difficult nailing Jello to the wall. But when you think about it, it tends to be worth the wait since usually by the end of every month I have some pretty lengthy stories to share. (Which I do apologize for in advance that I can never seem to tell a story without writing an essay about it.) Regardless of my awkward scrawlings, I do enjoy writing these beasts because I do seem to encounter somewhat ridiculous things.

To start, I had a rather peculiar experience the other day when I was at home. One of the kids brought home a small, red balloon from a birthday party they were at a couple of weeks ago, and said balloon continuously would float to the top of the stairs and get stuck in a corner of the ceiling that none of us could reach. So it caught me off guard when I happened to be walking up the stairs one day and walked straight into it hovering above the bottom step. I didn't think much of it, assuming one of the boys was playing with it and left it floating around. I got upstairs and went into the bathroom but when I came out, the balloon had surprisingly seemed to follow me. A tiny bit startled, I guessed that it was the draft of me walking up the stairs that had pushed the balloon to float up to the top. I went to see where Jessica was, not realizing that she was actually in Brodie's room talking to him. When I saw she wasn't in her room, I came back out to find the balloon sitting in front of my bedroom door. Officially a little creeped out by this tiny, artificial stalker, I looked at it and thought to myself, "You better not have moved by the time I come back." I went downstairs to grab my phone I had left on the counter, and when I got back up to my room, I was horrified to find that the balloon was actually sitting perfectly on my bed. Scared for my life thinking that our house was haunted, I ran back into Jessica's room to see her calmly reading a book on her bed. I told her I thought that the balloon was possessed and she looked at me for a moment, finally bursting into laughter saying, "Bree, I saw it on the floor so I put it on your bed." And that was when I breathed a giant sigh of relief, realizing that this entire time, Jessica was the one playing with it and had moved it upstairs. Thank goodness for that, because I don't think I would have slept in my room that night.

The second strange occurrence that happened to me recently was when an extremely strung out, bizarre older guy came into Sony on a day that most of us were working, and he began to serenade us with Bob Marley songs. At first none of us really knew what to do, because he was awkward-looking flailing around our empty store shouting at the top of his lungs, a white old man trying to impersonate a Jamaican accent. Dumbfounded, my co-worker shouted, "Just wait a second man, do you mind if I film this?" To which this guy replied, "PLEASE DO, MAKE ME FAMOUS!!!" So as we all stood around snickering at the sight of this person, he decided to swoop in and try to plant a kiss on me. I did a classic Matrix move backwards (which didn't turn out to be far back enough) when my ACTUAL Jamaican co-worker intervened. It was quite the sight, and in fact many customers walking past our store in the mall stopped to peer in to see just what on Earth this guy was doing.

Ever since I started working in the mall when I first arrived to Kelowna, I have accumulated a great deal of acquaintances. It's actually quite amazing to see the mall as it's own, small, self-sufficient community. When you work in any mall as long as I have, you start to recognize the faces that are also there every single morning, doing the exact same trot down the empty hallway before the doors open for business. First you learn their faces, then you see them walking around and discover where they actually work, and eventually you learn everybody's name. When you're trapped in a shopping center basically every day of the week, you start getting a little desperate to change up the usual routine. As an example, one of the boys from the hat store called "Lids" frequently would visit us at Sony on his breaks to sit down and play some video games with us. I've met a lot of different people working in the mall, and it's funny how much attention you attract when everyone finds out that your store is shutting down in a few days and that you're losing your job.

When I would walk throughout the mall wearing my Sony shirt, it felt like every single person who worked in the mall or customers who would pass by our giant closing signs would stop and stare at me. I've never had so much sympathy from strangers before in my life, so it was weird for me when I'd go up to buy lunch from Subway and they'd give me a free drink. There was also a day when I went to Opa! and they gave me a discount on my food when they normally wouldn't. Dave from EB Games would stop in the store every once in a while to chat and say hello, the man at Rainbow 24 Hour Photo gave me my prints for free, and an expert sketch artist who had a spot in the middle of the mall at a kiosk would often come in to talk for a few minutes on his break. Across the hall from us and around the corner was "The Source" and seeing how one of my co-workers was formerly employed there, all the boys would come into our store to chat as well. Several security guards would always come in just to talk about Playstation with us, and one of the guys that worked at a cellphone case booth offered us all coffee on our last day of business. Towards the end of our demise, we realized we were going to need a lot of boxes to start packing up the remainder of our inventory. One night I ran across the hall to "Footlocker" and asked them if we could have some of their empty ones, but they pointed us in the direction of "Northern Reflections" as they are a clothing store that usually hordes their cardboard. When I walked in there and got some boxes from them, we had used every single one that they had given us, and the following week I had to return to ask for some more. To my surprise, the associate who I'd never seen thus far told me that they had saved us all of their boxes as they knew we would most likely need more and they wanted to help us out one last time before we were gone. They lent me their trolley and through the mall I marched with my giant box of... well... boxes.

In short (but not really) what I have learned from this experience is that even if you're a stranger and people see that you're going through a "rough" time, people tend to be good and give you these little triumphs to keep you going. So to all of my fellow mall employees out there, thanks for looking out for one another. Although I had only worked at Sony for three months, just barely, I still felt a sense of true belonging with the rest of the staff. My co-workers were the best part of my day, everyone made it so easy to wake up every morning and go... even on days that I was feeling discouraged about my lack-of-expertise, they were always there to help me out and pick me up. I feel sorry that yet another band that I have been a part of has broken up, and most of all that many of us have spread to various areas of BC by now to continue on with our future endeavors. But I will miss everyone very much and hopefully we'll all run into each other again throughout the summer. I can honestly say that I made some decent memories there in the short time I was around - and I will admit that the first month was probably the most challenging I've dealt with so far for a job, but once I got a little more familiar with things and grew closer to my co-workers, I really started to feel more comfortable. 

But do not worry, (as I'm sure you all are) because I am one of the lucky ones who has already found work and ready to rock and roll for through summer time. I got hired at Best Buy and will be working in the Home Entertainment department, so I'm not too far off of the Sony realm. I am pleased that I will be looked after now that we're officially closed but at the same time, sad to say another goodbye to another "family-like" workplace.

Apart from all of that great stuff about my job situation which I'm sure was very enthralling for you to read, things otherwise seem to be going swimmingly. The only major difference so far is that our townhome has been sold, as I'm sure I have mentioned in a previous post (hopefully) that our lovely landlady had skipped town with all of our rent money and our suite was being foreclosed. Now that it is sold (we had shown the house several times throughout the past few months) we have until June 30th before we find our next place of accommodations... and so far we have our minds set on a rent-to-own house. We haven't found our perfect match yet, but when we do, I think it's going to be exciting to move into a place with a little bit more elbow room. It's almost like a fresh start, like we can finally find somewhere that has what we want. A backyard, a BBQ, 2 car garage, etc. We're also keeping our eyes peeled for a place with an extra bedroom, so if anyone is interested in taking a road trip down here this summer..........

Shucks. I still really miss Winnipeg. Today I had my first Slurpee of the summer and it tasted like home. It's a shame I won't be making it out there in the earlier months, but I do intend to return around the September benchmark to attend my cousin Samantha's wedding. (Which by the way, I am very much looking forward to seeing the entire Hawkins family again.) It will be good timing, but again a little disappointed I'll be missing the classic summer fun of pool parties, BBQ's and friends/family birthdays. I spent fifteen minutes driving the car yesterday, and from that short period of time I got a strange, rectangular-shaped sun burn on my arm. Which can only mean one thing: it's going to be a long summer in the Okanagan. Don't get me wrong, I'm rather excited to be spending it here too. It's vacation town after all! The best part about living here is that there is a beach right smack in the middle of town... with amazing food, parks and cool things to do by the waterfront.

Another thing I had wanted to share, was that the other day I finally had the opportunity to do some true Kelowna sight-seeing on a hot day. My manager from Sony and the district manager of the province who was in town to help us close the store picked me up from my home a few days ago to go downtown to eat our last supper with the staff. As we were driving, my manager mentioned that he was going to take us both (the D.M. and I) to Knox Mountain, a famous look-out point here to see a great view of the city. We drove for about 20 minutes when I saw the mountain up ahead - a very tall and steep road spiraling up to the very top with fenced-hiking trails next to it leading the way. We drove to a plateau, and there was a plaque with all the facts and information about the 2003 wildfires that had spread across the mountains on the opposite side of the lake - a view that could pretty much only be seen from this look-out point. It was incredible to see just exactly how far the fire had spread and how big it was. A remarkable sight indeed, I took a few photos and up we went to the highest point of Knox Mountain. That was the windiest feeling I had ever experienced, I was actually rather concerned I was going to be blown right off the peak. But it was an amazing view of Kelowna, I could see the whole town as well as the West Side, with the bridge connecting the two. It was a gorgeous view of the lake and the valley, and I've never witnessed anything quite like it in a place I could call "my own backyard".

It was a great side trip before we wrapped up our last official day of work at Sony. We met with the rest of the staff at Misato's Kitchen, the Japanese restaurant downtown that my manager's wife owns. We indulged in a traditional Chinese meal of Hot Pot (Given the fact that my manager is actually Chinese) and we all said our goodbyes, hugging and handshaking after we had digested. It was probably the most food I had ever eaten in my life, other than the BBQ I had attended at his personal home on a few weeks back.

It was a perfect way to leave Sony behind, and get prepared for what is coming down the pipe. A lot of changes are underway this summer, I'll be turning 21 and finally will be legal in Vegas, I'll be starting a new job, and I'll be living in a new home. I'll be living a totally new life by the time I return to Winnipeg, and it seems like change is no longer a stranger to me as it once was. Funny how I used to be so afraid of change, and now I am rather used to it. I guess in the end it's all for the better, as it keeps me on my toes and experiencing something new each day. You can't regret much if you try new things all the time, right?

Life is one giant rollercoaster I have learned... and when I used to be so terrified of it all and would try to back out of all the loopdy loops, I have eventually learned to just ride along with it and go with the flow.

You can quote me.

Check back in a couple weeks for another KWA Report from yours truly.
This is Bree Hawkins signing off.

My 25th Blog

Me at Sony

Well look at that! I have actually reached blog post # 25 today.... which I didn't think was actually possible with me. (I don't like long-term commitments.) But while we're here, I might as well fill you in on some of the eventful events that have happened since I last wrote. I just realized I'm getting pretty repetitive with my introduction on most of these things... I gotta come up with something a little more creative perhaps. Something to consider for blog # 26.

Let me start off by saying that this town seems to be full of Kindred Spirits. I'll tell you a few stories. Thanks to this place being considered as a "small town" I realized that I often see familiar people around various parts of Kelowna, which reminds me a lot of Dauphin (the small town where I was born.) Every day that I take the bus, no matter what time of day, I always see someone I recognize from before. As one simple example, there is a girl who I usually see on the community bus who I have now seen around the mall, around downtown and around Rutland, the neighborhood below Black Mountain. (A little fact: she is a scary clone of my friend Miranda back in Winnipeg.)

To start getting to my point, I keep having encounters with random strangers who then turn into these so called "Kindred Spirits" of mine, humble people I will run into from time to time and say hello. This whole thing began when I first started to work for Telus knocking on doors back in January, when on the weary night I had quit, I happened to be walking down a dark, snowy highway in the mountains. I knocked on the door of a giant farm house and when it creaked open, out came a tall and slender man who resembles that of Farmer Hogget in the kids movie, "Babe". He was a friendly looking fellow, he had kind eyes and a warm smile that right away welcomed me in from the cold. As I stood there in the doorway of his house, mumbling the introductory speech I had memorized only days before, assuring him I was conveniently "in the neighborhood" making sure that he and his neighbors were receiving the best value for the money they spend on their home services (Look at that, I still got it) he smiled and told me in a delicate voice that he was already a customer of Telus. After confirming that he was satisfied with his television set up, he offered me a warm, fresh-out-of-the-oven granola bar that he had made himself. I may have shared this story before, but to sum this chapter up, we ended up exchanging email addresses and he sent me recipes of all of his favorite, wholesome goods. Then he offered me fresh ground flour straight from his farm.

Still to this day he sends me emails once in a while, and under similar circumstances I met a family out on Vernon who made me a hot cup of tea after I walked for 30 minutes knee deep in snow up an inclined slope to reach their house. After I had finished my job at Telus, I saw one of my ex co-workers, Jayde, wandering through the mall. Turns out she found a job just across the hall from me at Sony, working in a clothing store. Guess she didn't enjoy walking in the night alone either.

Three weeks ago I was helping two ladies find a laptop for a new business venture they had both begun. I inquired as to what the business was, and it turned out to be a growing women's community supporting healthy lifestyles geared towards losing weight & feeling good. I was so intrigued that we exchanged emails and phone numbers, and as they purchased a laptop from me they also invited me to be a part of the "Healthy Together" community. They organize fun events like evenings of wine and cheese, along with day trips out hiking in the hills and doing various exercise activities. In fact, Sydnay and Nicole both frequently stop by Sony when they are nearby to say hello and see how things are going.

Looking like summer in Black Mountain

Nearly two weeks ago now (wow time flies) I was headed home from work in the late afternoon on a Saturday, trying to make my connection in Rutland to catch the community bus that takes me up the hill and to my home. By a wild strike of what I originally thought was unfortunate fate, I missed my bus by one minute and chased it for several blocks before I gave up. I was panting and cursing in the heat as I began to trudge up the hour and a half long walk (inclined) up the hill in the unexpected heat. For the first time the bus was too early, and as I chased after it I was still wearing all of my work clothes, carrying a full heavy backpack and had a black jacket on over top. As I hiked in my own pathetic misery of hate and rage, I noticed a dog running loose on the shoulder of the highway up ahead. Panicked for its life, I ran up and caught her by the collar before she raced onto the busy road. I was basically only beginning my hike when I found her, and I looked around the highway from the shoulder trying to spot her owner. No one was there. We were in a pretty remote spot on the hill, so I slouched over holding her by the un-useful collar and walked to the nearest house I could see.

There was no luck; I tried four different houses and no one seemed to be home. I called the number on her collar once before but an answering machine for city hall in a town four hours away came on. Sitting at the side of the road I dialed every place I could think of where I could take her to, in order to find her owner. No luck. It was Saturday evening and all the shelters & societies were closed, so I ended up walking her awkwardly up the hill with me for the hour and a half journey left to face in the blazing heat.

Hazel

When I got her home, I gave her a giant bowl of water and made more phone calls. Still no luck. Mike agreed to letting her stay until we could figure out what to do with her on Monday. Late Saturday evening I had the thought to post ads on local classifieds like Kijiji and Castanet looking for her owner. No bites. The next day while Mike & Jessica were in Vancouver for the Canucks' final game in the playoffs, I put her in the garage with some dog food, water and a blanket (with an old stuffy) to keep her occupied while I was at work. Later in the afternoon I got a voice mail on my phone from a woman crying with happiness that I had found her dog, Hazel. We arranged for her (Monique) to pick me up from work at the end of the day to go and fetch the dog from my house. (No pun intended.) When I met her out at the front of the mall, even as complete strangers, she ran up and hugged me immediately, thanking me and crying for looking after Hazel. She passed me a freezing cold Slurpee, (a sweet reminder of home) suitable for another hot day outside, to thank me for my "act of kindness". We chatted the whole way home and she explained she just moved to Kelowna a month ago and she hadn't been away from her dog for this long before. Long story short, both Hazel & Monique were ecstatic to be reunited and as she offered me a cash reward, I declined, hoping that maybe putting a good deed out into the world would come back to me at some point. She smiled and told me to visit her at the restaurant basically down the street that she works at for lunch. It's a small world after all...

So as you can see, I'm starting to believe in this whole concept of "everything happens for a reason". Well at least some things have to. I was certainly meant to miss the bus that Saturday afternoon.

And there you go. While there are still plenty of stories like this that I have to share, it will have to await the next blog as I think I have outdone myself on my iPhone typing this beast before work. I do promise to share more of my musings with you all again on Blog # 26.

But for now I think I need to go tend to this carpel tunnel I have now just obtained.

Looking forward to more experiences to come and sharing these humble moments with you again. Just remember kids, the Dalai Lama once said:

The Dalai Llama

"There is no need for temples, no need for complicated philosophies. My brain and my heart are my temples, my philosophy is kindness."

Big thanks to my calendar for providing me with that quote.

Love you guys,
I'll write again soon.

My Poor Abandoned Blog

Long time no see... looks like I have quite a bit of catching up to do. Yes, I know that I have put this blog on hiatus once already - but I'm going to challenge myself and see if I can keep it up. I'm not quite sure what my problem is, whether it's A.D.D. or loss of self-interest, but I'm actually quite surprised that for a few months now I had given up on talking about myself. I mean come on - who wants to stop talking about themselves?

With that aside, I do apologize to my friends and family who have been very loyal to me and have put up with reading this boring atrocity. I know it's hard to keep in touch sometimes when I'm on the other side of the country (just about, anyway) so I really would like to try and keep this blog going in order to reconnect with everyone who I no longer get to see very often. It looks like the last time I had written was just after Valentine's day... and since then much has happened. We're in April and past Easter already! Whew. Lots of rambling to be done. In case you were all very patiently wondering what my life has been like since I last wrote, I will try my best to summarize it in a non-lullaby way without putting you all to sleep.

I'm sure many of you already know that at the end of February, beginning of March, I had been job hunting looking for a full-time "career". Well, let me tell you how that worked out. When you're as unqualified as I am, it's hard to find a stable full-time job that will keep you afloat. But somehow I was lucky enough to stumble into the arms of Sony Canada, and land myself in one of their retail stores here in the mall in Kelowna. It's an excellent opportunity full of promise and good sportsmanship, and quite frankly, I was the lucky one out of 200+ applicants that got hired for a full-time position. I was officially hired for the job literally the day that I was leaving to catch my flight back to Winnipeg for a week-long visit, one that I had patiently awaited. (Now that it is over, I am patiently awaiting the next one.) I was ecstatic to hear that I was chosen to be hired and I signed off on multiple contracts promising me full benefits, an entry-level salary along with sales commission. I was salivating at the mouth when I read over my pamphlet of information, and was even tickled to read that there were "inside-company" transfer opportunities. (Which translates to 'being able to move up into administration and head office for Sony Canada.) I was really excited at all of these possibilities, realizing that this was exactly what I was looking for.

I embarked on my journey back to Manitoba with a head full of positivity and gratitude... and when I touched down on the prairie soil I could not be more pleased to be home. Although it was a nightmare getting off the plane at 10pm shivering in the delight of the cold, it was still such an amazing experience to reach the bottom of the stairs and see my dad patiently waiting for me. He took me to the airport when I originally left Winnipeg, and he was there to pick me up when I returned. It was a wonderful start to a great visit ahead. When we arrived at the Hawkins/Kosokowsky/Silva residence, I was overjoyed to be greeted by some of the faces I had missed so much since I had left - Laura, Shea, Rita (and of course two dogs plus a cat) as they all stumbled over one another as they raced to hug me. It felt so nice to be in familiar arms again, and to be in an old faithful, familiar place. I will admit that it was strange to be back, despite how similar things were, it somehow all felt different. I knew I wasn't there to stay and it gave the experience a bittersweet feel. Regardless, it was fantastic to be home and sitting around in the kitchen with the whole family catching up and sharing stories of our past few months without one another.

The rest of the week - while just as fantastic - went by in a blur. It was unfortunate that I did not get to spend as much time with each individual person I have been missing as I wanted to, but I still had a good time with the little time I spent there. I do apologize for I know I had missed some other familiar faces when I was in town, but time went by oh-too-quickly and I was stretched quite thin. I do promise that the next time I come to visit, I will make sure I catch everyone who I did not get to see last time. To carry on and make things as brief as possible (although with the way I like to write, not brief at all) I enjoyed my temporary stay back in Winterpeg. I knew that it would come to an end eventually but I was and still am excited at what the next visit will bring.

When I got back to Kelowna, my brother Mike was waiting for my arrival at the airport. He grew a beard which still makes me shudder, but it was nice to see his face again. Even though it was hairier than usual. It was that moment that I realized BC had now truly become my home, despite my being homesick every so often. (And by every so often, I mean more often than not. I will always miss everyone back East.) Again it was a bittersweet moment to be back, I was happy to return to a newly developing routine and sleep in my own bed again. Wait a minute, I did sleep in my own bed in Winnipeg.. weird... anyways. You know what I mean. The following day I got my act together and prepared for my first day at Sony as a sales consultant. March 9th was my first day of employment, and when I hit the sales floor for the first time I was as nervous as an opera singer on opening night. Everything was so fresh and clean cut, solid and reliable that I didn't know what to do with myself. The first few weeks were tricky no doubt - learning all of the technical jargon and model numbers was very difficult to do. But as time progressed, I began to catch on, picking up more and more bits of information allowing me to be more fluid when talking to customers. It has only been a month since I started, but I have already learned so much. While I still have plenty of things to learn and keep up on, I'm still finding myself much more comfortable now than I was when I began.

I was lucky enough to end up with a fantastic staff... each person being very helpful and understanding of my timidness to learning. I hit it off with everyone right off the bat which makes it a lot easier to wake up for work in the morning. All of this was great and dandy until last week when the store found out that we were closing down as a retail location in Kelowna at the end of May. It was a shock to the system for everyone, but for me personally it was disappointing to know that my new job was soon to be a past job. In short, I will be on the job hunt again pretty soon, technically I should start now but I will admit I have been procrastinating a bit. Thankfully Sony treats their employees very well and takes care of them, so I am well looked after financially as well as having the benefit of a reference letter from the company. It's unfortunate that I will be hitting the streets dropping off resumes again, but I'm sure I'll come across something. I just need to keep my eyes peeled for more opportunity.

In other news, we had a great Easter with the boys. I was lucky enough to get to spend the whole weekend with Landan, and on Sunday morning we all woke up early and drove up into Black Mountain (the actual mountain, not just the neighborhood we live in) and went to have an Easter egg hunt at Mike's dad's farm. They hid eggs and treats absolutely everywhere outside for the kids, and it was so much fun to watch them run around excitedly as they would discover the hiding places. It was a lot of fun and when it was over we went inside to enjoy some "Easter Bread" that Mike's grandma Judy had baked, basically a crispy pastry with fruit baked inside and hard boiled eggs braided in. It was an interesting creation but delicious none the less. We dropped Landan back off at his mom's place and myself, Mike and Jessica all had supper together at our house. Then yesterday (also known as Easter Monday) after work, Mike picked me up from the mall and we went to Kenda's (Landan's mom) place to enjoy a traditional Easter meal with the whole family. Ham, steamed veggies and potatoes, along with home-made coleslaw and a delicious strawberry crumble cake to top it all off. It was such a beautiful day outside yesterday, the sun was shining, the sky was blue and the air was warm like summertime. We had all the windows open in the house and enjoyed a beautiful sunset over the mountains from the view of the kitchen window as we ate. After supper we socialized and played with Landan and his toys, then we drove home for an early-night of rest.

All in all, Easter was good. The kids were full of chocolate (although somehow it was me who ended up with a choco-tummy ache) and I got to have a traditional family dinner just like I hoped for. Again, bittersweet, since I did miss being with my family back in Winnipeg for our Easter dinner we would normally have... but at least the spirit of the holiday was not lost. And, despite my current career situation, I still have a full two months of guaranteed work at Sony while I go on the hunt again. So things in life are still good, and hopefully they will just continue to get better and better. I can't believe that we're almost halfway into April already and that I've been here for 5 months now. Time sure flies when you're busy living life.

I will admit that I'm still fumbling around trying to find my place and my purpose in this world, but at least for now, it's working. And I'll keep fumbling around until I wind up where I'm supposed to be. (And by the way, I'm open to suggestions.) I suppose this would be a good place to wrap up today's novel, but I want you all to know that I miss you very, very much - and look forward to seeing you again soon. Hope you all had a great Easter as well.

Until next time,
This is Bree Hawkins signing off.

Me and My Heart

Here we are, post-Valentine's day, and all I have been doing is eating Hershey Kisses left right and center. I thought this would be an appropriate time to write again, as it has been another few weeks or so and I finally have some more ideas in my head. Basically to continue where I left off, I have been working much more often at the card shop since the "Hallmark Holiday" Valentine's day madness has been going on. Everywhere I look is red and pink (much to my dismay) and I cannot walk down one hallway of the mall without seeing lingerie several times in a row. I think the time has come now where everyone is packing all of it away, and bringing out St. Patty's day stuff. Yes that's correct, the halls have changed from pink to green.

Jack Johnson, Mango Tree Studios

Things at home are still as dandy as usual, but I have realized recently that I am spending more and more time in front of the mirror playing air guitar than playing video games. I can't help it though - I am addicted to Jack Johnson fully completely and when I listen to his music, I have to play along. This insane act of multiple personality disorder (I like to pretend that I'm singing in a band) has influenced me to follow my passion for music and re-learn an instrument. For real this time. Last year I really wanted to get back into playing the piano again, and for Christmas I was even spoiled with piano lessons from my parents. I had several lessons when eventually work began to conflict with practicing and I gave up trying to pursue it. Ever since I moved out here to Kelowna, I have rediscovered the reason that I wanted to learn the piano again in the first place. Music fuels me. It motivates me to wake up in the morning, I listen to it while I get ready, I sing in the shower, I hum while I brush my teeth, I play spoons while I eat my breakfast and I listen to my iPhone every single bus ride. Not only do I listen to music that much, but it's always the exact same artist: Jack Johnson.

Jack Johnson, Mango Tree Studios

Sadly it sounds like an obsession - which it very well could be, however his music has taught me so much since I moved out here. A few weeks before I left Winnipeg, I had picked up an old surf movie he made back when he was in college... and he did all the music for it. I eventually started to listen to all of his albums, I had them all in my music library but I only listened to one or two key songs. As boring is this may all be to read right now, I do have a punchline to the importance of his music. I enjoy really mellow, instrumental music, and before I listened to Jack I listened non-stop to Coldplay. As much as I do still enjoy their new album, courtesy of my friends at Polo Park, I have learned a lot from the tones of these particular styles. I fell in love with Jack's songs because his lyrics and themes all have to do with love and spreading it throughout the world. His sound is somewhat of a mix of Bob Marley and Jimi Hendrix. Who knew that a man and his guitar could be so powerful?

When I was on the airplane flying out here to Kelowna, all I had was butterflies in my stomach. I felt full of anxiety and fear, but then I plugged in my earphones and peacefully teared up while listening to one of Jack's songs. His lyrics of love, growth and happiness soothed me in a way I cannot explain. It inspired me to be happier and more calm. If you've ever listened to one of his hits, you know that his music is extremely calm. That's the perfect way to describe it. And when I listen to it, somehow it helps me battle all of that fear. At the end of the day, he is a good role model too, and that is essentially why I enjoy his albums. He's an environmentalist and has several charities and organizations for making the planet a better place. I think we could all learn a lesson from the person that he is. If there is some sort of rhyme or reason to life, he's figured it out. In his own words, he sings:

Love is the answer
At least for most of the questions in my heart
Like why we're here
Where do we go
And how come it's so hard

I thought that those words were subtly profound in their own way. When you think about life, why we are here and what we do with out lives... it's all based out of love. Family and friends are the most important things to me and it's important that we all share that love with our Earth. If we all planted some seeds and give back what we take, I believe that the world would be a better place. Ironically I'm not very good at doing either of those things, but this message inspires me and reminds me to do that. THAT is why I like his music.

Being out here in BC away from my comfort zone, away from my family, away from my friends (the few I may have :P ) has taught me so much about who I am, what my values in life are, and who I want to be as a human being. I think those are all very important lessons to learn, so I feel as though I have truly accomplished what I came out here to do. I understand that in life, we are always learning more about ourselves as we age and experience new things, but at least I am starting to see that now and appreciate everything that used to seem so simple. Emotionally, I feel like I have grown a lot in such a short period of time. I had to rebuild my entire life in a completely foreign place but thanks to having such supportive people in my life, I could do it. That's love. Every single person I know has been a part of helping me grow and learn more about myself. I still may have millions of more question marks floating around in my head... some of which I wonder will ever be answered... but at least I'm learning more each day. I know that in my heart, I just want to be as good of a person as I can be. I've still got a long way to go but I'm working on being better every day. I'm trying to make better choices for myself, trying to appreciate life's greatest simplicities and love the world as opposed to hating it. I'm going to make mistakes but that is my goal in life... finding happiness within.

I think finding your true passions in life is what fuels all of us in being happy. I've discovered music again, writing again, drawing again and even movie-editing again... so I'm working on all of these interests to reap as many good things out of them as I can. Yesterday I called the Centre for Arts and Technology campus here in Kelowna, and I asked them if they had any spots available for an upcoming workshop in graphic & digital media design. They said that they had quite a few spots available, and it's always pretty easy to get in. So I filled out an application and fired it off - and I am now enrolled in an Adobe Illustrator workshop! My wonderful relatives, Aunt Keren, Uncle Gianni and cousin Sophie sent me the greatest gift of all in a small card the other day... inside it read, "Take a course. <3 " To you, K, G and S: I am taking a course. :)

On Valentine's Day I was working at Hallmark and one of my first customers of the morning came up to the till. He was an older fellow who was making jokes as he payed. He was making me laugh, and then we bonded over the ridiculous cost of cards these days... (out of earshot of my boss of course. Hehe) and as he left he smiled and said to me, "I hope today you receive all of the love that you deserve, young lady." He turned and left peacefully, walking out of my life just as quickly and briefly as he walked in. That was the nicest thing that had ever been said to me on Valentine's Day. It came from a simple smile that a stranger shared. That, is truly the power of happiness.

The Grateful Fed

As one more example of how simple things can be good things, last week I was downtown picking up my paycheck from Telus... and I remembered how long it had been since I'd been out to eat anywhere. I enjoy little cafes or delis here and there... back when I was in Winnipeg I actually took myself out for lunch and went to the "Nook and Cranny" on Portage Ave. I sat at a table for one and had the best Reuben sandwich I'd ever eaten. Not only that, I had a nice, cold beer to top it off. When I moved to Kelowna, I stopped experiencing little spontaneous bits of culture like that. I took it upon myself to explore downtown a bit more since I'm now more familiar with the area, and can navigate my way home easier. As I was walking down one of the main downtown streets, I passed several different cafes and restaurants along the way. Each one looked appealing it its own, unique way; either by the way it smelled or by the menu that it had. I was looking for a place that was licensed so I could have a beer with my late-afternoon lunch, but most of these little places were restaurants and I didn't want to stick out like a sore thumb. I kept thinking in my head of styles of pubs I'd go to if I were on a vacation... what would my step-mom look for in a good restaurant to sit down for a beer? Suddenly a small patio off of the one-lane sidewalk caught my eye. It had only three or four tables out front but it still looked inviting. It was too cold to sit outside but if they had a patio, it meant that they had beer. And that's what I was looking for. Atmosphere.

Atmosphere is exactly what I got. This place had an over-hanging sign that read, "The Grateful Fed" and right away I knew this was a music place. I peeked through the glass door and saw only about 12 tables set up and ready to go inside. Some of them had couples, some of them had people sitting alone, and by looking at the florescent sign that said "Coors Light" flickering in the back behind the tables, I knew this was my kind of place.  Patio? Check. Decor? Check. Licensed? Check. But the biggest winner of them all... was the menu. This was no ordinary pub - I was so overwhelmed I can't even remember some of the elaborate menu choices but everything looked quite exotic compared to your usual chicken fingers and fries. I walked inside and the smell was unbelievable of fresh cooked food. Behind the bar near the back, was a dainty looking kitchen window with a ledge for the cooks to put the food on when it was done. Beside the full, bountiful looking plates of food was a small, retro service bell. I looked and through the window saw only 2 cooks, both properly dressed in chef uniform and clean cut. They were chopping up fresh vegetables and cooking things over a stove. I was impressed. This place had true credentials.

The Grateful Fed

In the background I heard Beatles music playing, and the walls were decorated in soft-old-school rock posters of artists like Lou Reed, John Lennon, Grateful Dead, U2, BB King, etc. The tables had concert tickets from real shows scattered below a piece of plexiglass to hold them in place. The owner of this joint must be an avid music lover. (No kidding.) I heard two male voices coming from the bar so I looked up and saw an older, Italian looking guy with a rag over his left shoulder, leaning over the bar and chatting to a customer. Just by the way he looked and spoke, I could tell he was the owner. One of the local hockey players from the Kelowna Rockets came in after me, and the owner came out from behind the bar and sat down to chat with him at one of the tables. I picked a seat kind of flat right in the middle of the whole place - and when I say "whole place", I mean out of the 12 tables. It was such a small little pub but at the same time was comforting and peaceful. The one waitress that they had came up to me and told me the daily special: rotini done up in a light, freshly made white cheese pasta sauce (I can't remember what type of sauce it was, and for that I am filled with regret) and fresh grilled salmon with herbs scattered overtop. I cannot describe this meal. It was $12.00 for a giant plate of the best pasta I'd ever consumed in my entire life. That's not true, my step-mom whips up a damn good pasta, but coming from a small hole-in-the-wall pub, this was absolutely mind blowing. The food was incredible, the service was great and the atmosphere was amazing. I asked the waitress if they ever had live music and she said they do 3 times a week, Wednesdays, Fridays and Saturdays. I am picking this to be my official tour spot if any one of you ever comes to visit me out here.

So all in all, just another example of how good things can be sometimes. It was a totally spontaneous event, I never planned on going out to eat for the first time in months when I was going downtown to get my cheque, but it all worked out perfectly and I had an experience I will remember for the rest of my life because of it. There you go. Do something spontaneous.

If there was any true reason for me to be sharing all of this with you today, that would be that hopefully you'll find some inspiration in your life with it, too. Smile at someone today, hold the door open for someone today. Give your seat up on the bus for someone today if you take the bus. Serve somebody else before you serve yourself. If each of us did this every single day, maybe we still would not see a difference in the world... but maybe we'll see a difference in ourselves. :)


Spread the love today. No, I'm not just saying that. I mean it.

Be good as my favorite humanitarian, Paul Walker, would say. Here's a video of his disaster relief foundation, Reach Out Worldwide, as they celebrate their second anniversary. It's an extremely touching video.

                This is a clip of Jack's surf film, the song is called "Home"

My clean cut boys... Landan is trying to be a 'Space Chimp'

Had an awesome view of the valley from one of Mike's job sites

As unappealing as my photo makes it seem, this was GOOD

Mojo enjoying life on a cactus

Landan playing Marble Blast like a pro

That's It, I'm Back

Me and my long hair

I'm sure you have been waiting impatiently on the edge of your seats, eager to read the next mediocre blog post I come up with. My apologies for it being so long again, I feel as though I have lost my groove when it comes to taking time out to sit down and write one of these monsters... it actually takes more concentration for me than I would've thought. I suppose it doesn't help much that I usually have nothing of particular interest to talk about, it's not like I sit here and discuss current events, so it is often quite difficult to find a good topic. I originally toyed with the idea of throwing out this blog altogether, but then I realized I am WAY too self-indulgent for that and would rather carry on talking about myself and my lazy days here in Kelowna.

Let's rewind a little bit and quickly (I use that word loosely) go over exactly what the heck happened over the past month since I have last written. Basically, as soon as Christmas was over and the New Year began, my days became ticking time bombs to find another full-time job. I figured it would be a perfect time to go career-hunting since all the kiddies were back and school. I soon came to find that it is the exact opposite. Many retail jobs reduce their hours after the holidays are over and lay off their seasonal staff, so I figured I would go down a different route entirely and look for a job that perhaps wasn't in retail. I was cruising on Kijiji looking for advertisements and postings when I finally stumbled upon a "Junior Sales Consultant" position at Telus. Intrigued, I sent in my resume hoping that it would be some sort of career-like opportunity. I really want to find something that I'll stay in longer term, so the fancy job title caught my eye. Damn those fancy job titles.

The position turned out to be a door-to-door sales crusade, in which I accepted and was evidently selling Telus home services. (e.g. Television, Internet, Phone) The office was fancy and clean; it was downtown in a chic building called "Atomic 33 Marketing" which immediately stunned me. I felt professional and well-to-do when I would take the elevator up to floor 3 every morning. All just shoe-shine on a boot. Day after day (which essentially was only four days) I would trudge up and down highways in the snow, clinging onto my clipboard of colorful brochures and application forms, pounding on each door that I would approach. After having the door slammed in my face nearly 78 times, (if not many, many more times than that) I still kept going at it. I figured I would give this job my absolute greatest shot and not let myself down by not trying. Everyone around me was convincing me otherwise, but for some absurd reason I refused to call it quits after one day. I found that the job itself did not intimidate me; I am perfectly comfortable walking up to a strangers door, someone I will never see again, and have them shut it on me. All I would mumble to myself was, "Next!" or "Yeah, I'd probably do the same thing." My cheesy smile and oh-too-perfect self-introductory pitch usually turned people off within their first glance. However, the thing that bothered me about this job was walking by myself at night, a twenty-year-old female, up and down an unlit highway out in the middle of the mountains. The doors that I would knock on would be 20 minutes apart. I'm not going to lie, they were not ALL like that... I had a few good streets here and there, but for the most part I just could not handle the discomfort of walking by myself at night alone. On day four I ended up calling my manager and quit on-site. I figured there had to be OTHER jobs out there in Kelowna... ones I'd like better... for the same amount of money. So I peace'd out and that was that chapter in my life.

The new look of my bedroom - notice the Jack J poster too

Since then my days have been filled with endless resume-dropping-off, babysitting my nephew, and sleeping. It's a tough life. I still get shifts at Hallmark here and there which has been fueling me for the past two weeks, but I'm still in hopes of finding something permanently full time. I had an interview at the Sony store last week, and I am setting up a second interview for the end of this week or beginning of next. With that particular job, there are three interviews: pre-screening, preliminary, and secondary. My pre-screening went exceptionally well if I may say so myself... although it may have only been 1 of 3, it still went just about as good as it could've in my opinion. There would be nothing more embarrassing than the owner of the store Googling my name, finding this blog, and reading this post thinking, "Wow, the interview did NOT go that well." So here's to me hoping that my self-confidence isn't false. However, I do look forward to the second interview and cross my fingers that it went just as good as the first. This job would be ideal: it's close by, full time, hourly wage PLUS commission... and who loves flatscreens and video games more than I do?

That's basically the gist of what has been going on in my end of the world. Mikey and I have been playing craploads of Modern Warefare on our Xbox Live, we're absolutely addicted. Sometimes Chris comes over and we have a few beers, eat pizza and play video games... I'm such a nerdy teenage boy at heart. I really do love it though. For all of you fellow Winnipegers, (all 2 of you that probably read this) I am indeed attempting to plan a trip back home within the near future to come and visit. It's bizarre how much I miss seeing the wind. I am also in the process of taking up some workshops at the Centre for Arts & Technology campus here in Kelowna, it is a digital art school that I have been drooling at the mouth to attend even before I moved out here. I kind of wrote it out as an option to attend for right now but they had a small symposium at the mall the other day and I found out they have day-long workshops on various topics that interest you for a decent price, so I'm thinking I'm going to go take a few of those and meet some people with similar interests as me. There's a few Adobe courses in there I'd like to check out so that has been on my radar as well lately.

Anyways, that pretty much concludes my catch up blog. I feel bad I have not been writing more but I am hoping now with all of this free time I have somehow gained, I will write more often. Forgive me if it is a few days in between posts as I usually try to think of things that are at least SOMEWHAT interesting to read. (I'm not sure if that ever really comes across.) I'll also try to make a better habit of taking more photos to liven these novels up a bit.

Until next time, this is Bree Hawkins signing off.

PS - Did I mention in the last blog post that we have a new addition to our family? Her name is Mr. Mojo Thomas, a bearded dragon. The reason that is her name is because we originally thought it was a male... and we let the boys name it. We recently found out that she is a female so we couldn't really think up another name that Landan and Brodie liked. I can't wait for her to get bigger though so I can take her for walks.

Mr. Mojo Thomas, the beardy

Friday the 13th

So it has been exactly thirteen days since I last wrote on my blog, and to some of you who check daily... I apologize. (Just kidding) Forgive me if this entry reads a little rusty. I feel as though I have completely forgotten how to type at a computer.

A lot has happened in the short amount of time that the new year has delivered. For instance, my hours got cut back at the card shop, I have spent a few weeks hunting for a job, I went to two job interviews and I have finally found employment. How's that for a start to the new year? Well I'm going to be honest. I'm not too sure yet how I'm feeling about living out here in the West Coast - I'm still feeling homesick although I'm wishing I didn't. The last thing on Earth I want to do to myself is to cave in and come home. Although everyone spends their time trying to convince me that it's okay if I do in the end choose to do that, I know that the self-punishment I would suffer through afterwards wouldn't be worth it. Again, I'll speak openly... I am starting to feel yucky again, unmotivated and unsure of what my future may hold. It's a familiar routine that goes on in my head, something that happens when I am forced into making a decision. I've been trying to convince myself that I can do this and once I begin a new job here I will be alright... yet at the same time, I'm just feeling downright unsure.

You have to look at things from my point of view, I never really give things a chance. Before I ever do, I usually get too anxious beforehand and change my direction before I can feel the uncomfortable effects. Examples? I moved back to my hometown of Dauphin in 2008, ended up living there for sixth months and before I had the chance to stick my feet in the water and attend the highschool there the following September, I promptly moved back to Winnipeg and went to school there. I will credit myself, I did still step out my boundaries and go to a new high school... something that was a very difficult challenge for me. But at the same time, I still feel like I gave up and I didn't really give anything there a chance.

I returned to Winnipeg. I finished high school, I got average grades... I signed up for University, not really sure I want to but because I know that I need to... and boom. Not even a year later, merely just a semester, I drop out and I'm gone. I spent the next few months working part time at the Hallmark there, barely enough to get me out of my bed in the morning. Thank goodness I finally started to work at the second store to get some full time hours... it was a nice change for me, a new environment and at least I was working more often than not. That little venture was good for me too, I'll admit. There are little gold nuggets here and there that I find I accomplish, but at the same time there is so much that I avoid. Another example: I left Winnipeg behind. When I did, it felt great - I felt that sense of accomplishment I had every other once in a while... but now it just feels like I ran away again. Because now I'm really starting to feel the homesickness and the familiarity of my old life. As much as I like how things are here, Mike and Jessica have both been more than welcoming and accepting, my nephews have been a joy to be around and the scenery is absolutely breathtaking every single day... but I still find myself getting homesick. I'm not too sure what it is that I am looking for anymore. I left there because I thought I was unhappy and needed a new change in my life to inspire a direction I wanted to go towards, and now I am here seeing that the grass isn't exactly greener on the other side. It feels the same. I guess at the end of the day, it all boils down to how you feel about your life on the inside, finding those things that make you happy. I don't know where exactly to find it yet.

As self-pitying as that may all sound, all I am saying is that I guess I just have to keep trying. If I left Kelowna behind I'd feel pretty bad. Yet at the same time I still really want to come home. The good thing about right now is I have something else to think about - I got a new job as a sales person for T.A.G. Enterprise. It is a company that is contracted out to smaller companies such as Telus, Shaw, Rodgers etc. that need to raise their sales of their product. e.g. Cable, Internet, TV, Phone. T.A.G. Enterprise is a widespread company as they have headquarters in Vancouver, offices in Calgary, Red Deer, Edmonton and Fort McMurray. A perk about working for their Kelowna location is that they offer a $10.00 p/hr wage on top of $10.00 commission on each product that you sell. It's a Monday to Friday job, which leaves me able to work Sundays still at Hallmark to ring in an extra hundred bucks or so a week. This new job happens to be a door to door sales job at the beginning... but like I said, I get paid an hourly wage so even if I suck at the start, at least I'll still be going home with a 40 hour week paycheck. I won't lie to you, I'm scared out of my pants. There is nothing more intimidating than walking up to a strangers door, not knowing who is going to answer and trying to talk them out of their cable deal while they are sitting at home with their families in the evening. I'm not sure what my future may be in this career, but I guess I have to try it right now. My training starts on Monday so wish me the best of luck... that I don't throw up all over my shoes.

So all of that leads us up to here, Friday the 13th. I'll admit, when I first woke up this morning I was very cautious getting out of bed. I automatically assumed that today may be an unlucky day... but so far nothing too hazardous has happened. The only thing I can think of so far was when I accidentally missed my mouth when I went to take a drink from my glass of water, and it poured down my shirt instead. Guess I'm pretty lucky today! :)

Now that I am reflecting upon the few weeks that has gone by so far in the new year, it hasn't been so bad. In fact, lots of good things have happened to me. Take yesterday morning for instance: I was nice and cozy in my nice warm bed, eyes shut tight and covers pulled up to my face... when all of a sudden I hear the creak of my door opening slowly and a beam of light shined in my face. When I peeked through my eyelids I saw a tuft of blonde hair bobbing up and down with a big, wide open smile to accompany it. Landan had crawled out of his bed at 6:30 a.m. and snuck into my bedroom, hoping I'd be awake. When he saw that I was still half-asleep, he asked if he could at least keep me company and watch Treehouse on my TV. I agreed, seeing how this was beginning to become a morning routine for us. Whenever he wakes up, he comes into my room and waits until I'm ready to get out of bed and grab him a bowl of cereal. It seems to work pretty good for us. So there he was, crawling up into my blankets and curling his little toes next to mine while I listened to him laughing at the television. That was a magical moment in itself. Without this new year, that moment would never have happened.

I also had a pretty good New Year's eve celebration as well - I see that the last time I wrote was the night of, so you wouldn't have known what my festivities ended up being. Mike originally had plans to invite some friends over to our place for drinks and countdown, but that had all fallen through so we ended up going to Mike's best buddy's house, Miller. Miller has two young girls who were having a sleep over when we got there, so their moms were over too. Altogether it was myself, Mike, Jessica, Miller, Sarah (Miller's girlfriend) and one of the mothers. We had a pretty decent evening, we all had some beer and watched MuchMusic's countdown. Unfortunately for us, we didn't realize that it was based out of Toronto (I'll blame the beer for that) and we missed the countdown to midnight completely. By the time we realized it was after 12:00, it had long since passed. We all stood up and gave one another hugs, cheering and wishing a happy new year. It was a pretty calm evening, but it was fun. We listened to good music, played fun games and enjoyed each others company.

In the meantime, I also was asked by a friend of Paul Walker's, Jesse Brisendine, to create a montage video of all the things he had experienced in 1 year. He called it the "1 Year 1000 Things Challenge" and became quite well-known throughout 2011. Anyways, he had seen some of my other videos I had made previously on the internet, and he liked my work. He emailed me asking if I would throw together a video for his challenge, so I willingly did so, excited that someone I looked up to asked me to work on a project for them. I have posted the video below so you can check it out if you'd like.

Anyways, I suppose that is all I have to say for now... hope you like the few pics I've shared.

Cheers

Lovely walk a few feet from my house to the gas station

"Black Mountain"

Landan's got my nose

Happy New Year, Mike!

You can see how much I drank here....

Where buses go to die

My Black Mountain bus that takes me throughout the mountains

                                 

Landan's infamous "Duck" has caused many problems haha

Sneakers that were thrown up onto the phone lines

View from the beach in The Mission